Summer serves up tons of possible poolside opportunities for chat time with your crush, and we want you to enjoy talking with him. But hear this: Among other things, he does not want to know how fat you feel when you’re cramping …OK? Here are the five convo topics that totally turn guys off:

1.    Every Tiny Detail of Your Entire Life

Some girls are like human Twitters, talking -- without even taking a breath -- about any little thing that crosses their mind. They don’t talk to guys; they talk at guys. This includes reading texts from friends out loud, commenting on the texts, pausing to mention that you need to pick up some ointment for your rash, complaining that you’re still hungry even though you had cereal and leftover pizza and then and then and then. … Chihuahuas at a gerbil farm don’t yap that much.

Simple Solution: Listen more. Listen a lot more. A guy who feels like he’s being heard will enjoy spending time with you.

2.  Anything About Your Period
Ever notice that just the word “period” makes most guys cringe? Sure, it’s immature, but boys aren’t ready to talk about cramps, flow, zits, bloating or bad moods. Your period is an outrageous and awkward mystery for a guy, and it’s not your job to educate him on the nuances of the menstrual cycle.

Simple Solution: If you don’t feel so great and need to pass on the whole bikini-bonanza-bike-riding day in the sun, tell the truth and say you don’t feel well. If he asks for details, tell him your stomach hurts. Seriously, spare the bloody deets.

3.  Gossip About All Your Friends
Gossips always think there’s a reason why they’re sharing information: “She did this to me” or “He did that to her” or “I need your opinion on this problem.” But the problem is usually that no one will stop talking about it. When you share something about someone else, you’re gossiping. When you’re talking about other people in any negative way, you’re gossiping. And gossiping is unattractive.

Simple Solution: Stay positive! Talk about things you like, things you want to do, things that sound fun.

4.  How Embarrassing Everything Is All the Time
It’s possible the whole embarrassed-at-life thing is part of a girl’s puberty journey. There are days you’re zapped with an intense desire to constantly check to see if you have food in your teeth or if your fly is open. But nervous, self-conscious girls rarely get the guy. Unless he’s ridiculously hot for you like Biebs is for Selena (because, yeah, that happens so often), you’ll lose his attention.

Simple Solution: Confidence can be learned, so fake it until you make it. Trip, burp or lose your cool in front of him? Smile and take a bow. We bet he’ll think it’s funny and cute -- not dorky.

5.  What You Don’t Like About Today
“It’s beautiful, but it’s so darn hot.” “It feels like everyone’s on vacation, so it’s not as much fun as usual.” “Lunch was good but really expensive, right?” “That girl has a good body, but her swimsuit fits weird.” “Your new haircut is cute, but you should grow out the bangs.” Girl, do you see the trend here? The negativity comes through -- not the positive setup statement -- every time. Guys want to be around someone who likes her friends, likes what she’s doing and isn’t impossible to please.

Simple Solution: If you verbalize the positive thought and leave off the negative thought, pretty soon you’ll actually stop thinking the icky stuff altogether!

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/Gewitterkind

All your girls have boyfriends, and you keep thinking about how things would be way more fun if you had a BF too. Stop that! Being single means you have way more chances for fun than your attached friends. Don’t believe us? Just in case you have your doubts, here are some reminders about why being single rocks.

Make friends with the boyfriends’ friends.
There are limitless opps to hang out in a group together. Stuff like bowling is way more fun with lots of people. And if your friends’ BFs are awesome, that means their buddies probably are too. How lucky you are to get a chance to get to know some of these guys on a casual level, without the pressure of dating. And what an awesome way to expand your group of friends!

Stay outside of boyfriend drama.
OK, maybe there’s a little seepage from your friends’ boyfriend dramas. But you won’t have to deal with your own BF drama. Get in a fight over going to see the new chick flick instead of the latest alien robot action thriller? Not a chance! You’re your own movie-selection-making machine.

Have girl-only time, all the time!
There’s a reason why “girl time” is considered to be awesome. Because it is! You can only talk about Zac Efron’s dreamy eyes for so long before a boy will change the subject to how many zombies he’s killed in some mindless video game. But be gentle when asking your attached friends for some time with them. Go for, “I’m dying to see The Lucky One. You in for a girls’ night?” Not, “Can we do something without your boyfriend for once?”

Hang out with whatever guy friends you want.
Boyfriends get jealous sometimes. Should they? We don’t think so. But at least when you’re single, you don’t have to worry about someone getting upset over your splitting an ice-cream sundae with a guy friend.

Have more time to be there for your friends.
No worrying about dealing with a peeved boyfriend when you have to cancel plans at the last minute because a friend needs help with her homework or just wants you to come over and bake cupcakes. And who’s she gonna turn to when she has an extra concert ticket because she and her BF are on the outs? Her single friend, of course! Hey, duty calls.

Appreciate the quality of your friendships.
Sure, you have occasional spats with your BFFs. But the truth is that friendships survive a lot more tough stuff than romantic relationships. Years down the road, you’re going to be thankful for all the friendships you had -- not all your boyfriend breakups. Being single gives you way more time to work on those friendships you’re going to treasure for the rest of your life.

Enjoy your alone time.
Being alone gets a bad rap, but it shouldn’t. There’s a lot to be gained in having some quiet time to reflect and get acquainted with your true self! So when all of your friends are out doing the couples thing, be grateful for your personal freedom. Break out the rollerblades and take a spin around the neighborhood, or lock yourself in your bedroom to perfect those cute nail art designs.

BFF breakups hurt, we know. But here are our 10 commandments on how to make the ending of a friendship as ouch-free as possible.

1. Thou shalt not talk trash.
Ranting about someone is kind of like eating a whole bag of potato chips: You end up feeling bad, no matter how satisfying it seems in the moment. It’s better to play it cool and keep your lips zipped.

2. Thou shalt not text her.
Do not, we repeat, do not pick up the phone! Anything you say right now -- mean or nice -- will backfire since you’re both still recovering from the fallout of your fight.

3. Thou shalt not beat yourself up.
You’ll only drive yourself crazy thinking about where you went wrong. The fact is that any conflict between two people is always about … two people. So don’t even think about blaming yourself for how things played out.

4. Thou shalt not stalk her Facebook page.
Seeing her latest status update will so not help you move on. While we don’t recommend unfriending her (that’s just petty), think about logging off of Facebook for a week or two so you aren’t tempted to check her profile.

5. Thou shalt hang out with other friends.
Call one of your other leading ladies and clock some quality time together. The more fun things you do with other people, the less you’ll ruminate about your ex-BFF.

6. Thou shalt make your journal your new best friend.
Writing about how this friendship drama makes you feel can help you sort through all those tough emotions and make you feel better about where you are.

7. Thou shalt let yourself mope a little.
It’s OK to get a little emo. Watch sad movies, stay in your PJs and eat ice cream straight out of the carton. Just don’t wallow too long; the idea is to get the blues out of your system, not to end up in a long-term funk.

8. Thou shalt put yourself first.
When you’re tight with a friend, you often spend a lot of time focusing on what she wants to do. Now’s the time to think about what you really love: Been a while since you picked up a paintbrush or played soccer? Do that, stat!

9. Thou shalt remember that she’s hurting too.
Make no mistake: This is a rocky time for her also. Remembering that this is as tough for her as it is for you can help you move from depression to compassion.

10. Thou shalt pamper yourself.
You’ve gone through some tough stuff lately, so take a bubble bath, paint your nails purple, or do whatever else makes you feel relaxed and amazing. You deserve it!

Has your inner mean girl come out to play? Ew! But before you give her the smackdown, know that she can hold a few clues as to what’s really going on in your world. Figure out how to rein her in and you can turn any icky situation into a pleasant experience. Promise!

You Are Not Your Reaction
You’re sitting at your fave cafe clutching a chocolate shake as your peeps notice a not-so-hot boy gawking at you. Seriously, he won’t stop staring! You make a snide comment about him, and your friends laugh hysterically.

So, how’d that feel? Do you really feel good about some boy, cute or not, being the butt of a joke? It’s nobody’s natural state to be mean. The guy obviously thinks you’re attractive, so instead of speaking up, silently take his stares as a compliment. If it makes you uncomfortable, simply look away. Why have a staring contest?

It’s an Inside Job
Oh, no! You and your bestie had a spat. No biggie, since you two usually patch things up stat. But your inner mean girl keeps hitting the replay button in your mind. You can’t stop thinking about how bossy and opinionated she is, and you totally have an attitude about it.

Could it be -- bear with us -- those qualities are on parade because she’s mirroring back things you don’t exactly adore about you? Turn inward. And be honest! Redirect your ’tude, and watch hers slowly shift too. Like magic!

Hold Yourself Accountable
Mom called you out (again) because you didn’t unload the dishwasher or clean out the cat’s litter box. Chores, ugh. So you snapped at her, and now you’re grounded. Yeah, you’re slammed with school and extracurrix. Still, no excuse!

So, suck it up and tell mom “Sorry.” The trick here is to not expect a payoff for apologizing. Just do it because you’re holding yourself responsible for being irresponsible. Owning up holds its own rewards. You’ll see (wink, wink).

Speak Your Mind

Sheesh! Every time you’re having some girl time in your crib with your crew, your little bro is trying to get in the mix. So embarrassing!

Have you talked to him privately about this? (No, screaming at him does not count!) Consider approaching your brother from a level of respect. Say something like, “Look, I know everybody treats you like you’re just a kid. But I know you’re way more mature than you pretend to be.” Set the convo up that way, and he’ll be so much more receptive to your request.

Don’t Be so Hard on Yourself
No matter how your life’s scenarios play out, be easy on yourself. If you slip into mean girl mode, acknowledge it and then take some quiet time to figure out how you can flip a negative into a positive. Then don’t stay stuck; move on. It really is that simple!

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/JoseASReyes

Dating can be a slippery slope -- that’s why we want to help you gain solid footing. Here are our tips on how to save face in any situation. No sweat!

Worst-case Dating Scenario No. 1: You get your period unexpectedly.
Uh-oh. You’re chatting it up with your crush over a pile of shared nachos when you get that familiar (or unfamiliar, if you’re a first-timer) dampness in your underpants. Yikes … you’ve gotten your period!

What to do? Well, your best bet is to expect the unexpected. Even if you’re not due for a period, it’s never a bad idea to wear a just-in-case panty liner. And you keep a tampon or pad in your bag at all times, right? Right? If not, now is a good time to start. Excuse yourself to the ladies room and take care of business. If you don’t have any supplies, there are usually feminine-product dispensers in public restrooms, so take some change with you.

Worst-case Dating Scenario No. 2: The conversation freezes up ... brrr!
Again, it’s best to be prepped, so think ahead. Stash a few secret conversation weapons up your sleeve in case you two run into any of those awkwardly silent moments.

Before your date, make a mental list of three topics you can bring up to kick-start some conversation if the banter runs dry. For example, you could talk about the most recent concert you attended (be sure to ask about his musical tastes), your science-fair project or last week’s big game. No talking about the weather, puh-lease!

Worst-case Dating Scenario No. 3: You have a, um, wardrobe malfunction.
Aw, sheesh! Whether you’ve lost a button, busted a zipper or ripped a seam, something as simple as a safety pin (or two) can really save the day. It’s not difficult to toss a few into your bag before the date -- and just like with a tampon, it’s a good idea to keep a few on you all of the time anyway. Do you see a running theme here? The point is to be prepared.

Worst-case Dating Scenario No. 4: Your date has wicked-bad breath.
He’s cute and he’s kissable -- that is, until he leans in for a smooch, and you catch a whiff of ... what is that?

It’s smart to stash mints or gum along with your other emergency items, but here’s an important trick when it comes to dating and the quality of his breath (and yours): When you’re dining together, follow his lead and eat the same type of food as your date. If he orders something loaded with garlic, you’re not going to notice if you’ve eaten a garlicky dish too. Otherwise, step away from the scampi!